Thursday, January 14, 2010
Hi all... I'm feeling seriously fucked up now man. This feeling is really something noone wants to feel. It's like having so much problems and yet there's noone there for you, to listen to you, and let alone give you advice. Seriously, even if someone really pissed you off, you'll feel at least a little better right? But this is just GREAT. I cant speak to any of my friends about it as they'll all cover up for this person who pissed me off for a very long time. This feeling purely SUCKS.
You're doing this because i'm better than you. Leaving me out in everything, never mind. You're just so smart, choosing the time when i'm the busiest, the time when i'm left with no more motivation, to attack on me. You're just jealous that you cannot win me. That's why now you're having your secret training without letting me know. And you wont be afraid even if i found out as i dont have the time to catch up and all my motivation's lost. You've did this so many times. But i just put up a brave front and say "you'll never win me". However, deep down in my heart, i am scared. Very scared. I'm scared of losing. Because i was once a loser. I know that terrible feeling of being a loser, a loser of all aspects. Cant you just put that jealousy aside and think of the many other things that you're way better than me? For example, studies. When it comes to studies, i seriously succumb to you, you know. I dont know what you did to my friends, they are always protecting you, thinking that i'm always the one at wrong. They've become so protective of you that i cant share my true feelings, miseries and problems anymore. I'm really tired. And scared. Scared of becoming a loser, once again.
Sorry for the vulgarities. I guess it's ok anyway... Since noone bothers to read my post or even visit my blog... I can understand how a lone wolf feels like now.
You're doing this because i'm better than you. Leaving me out in everything, never mind. You're just so smart, choosing the time when i'm the busiest, the time when i'm left with no more motivation, to attack on me. You're just jealous that you cannot win me. That's why now you're having your secret training without letting me know. And you wont be afraid even if i found out as i dont have the time to catch up and all my motivation's lost. You've did this so many times. But i just put up a brave front and say "you'll never win me". However, deep down in my heart, i am scared. Very scared. I'm scared of losing. Because i was once a loser. I know that terrible feeling of being a loser, a loser of all aspects. Cant you just put that jealousy aside and think of the many other things that you're way better than me? For example, studies. When it comes to studies, i seriously succumb to you, you know. I dont know what you did to my friends, they are always protecting you, thinking that i'm always the one at wrong. They've become so protective of you that i cant share my true feelings, miseries and problems anymore. I'm really tired. And scared. Scared of becoming a loser, once again.
Sorry for the vulgarities. I guess it's ok anyway... Since noone bothers to read my post or even visit my blog... I can understand how a lone wolf feels like now.